Tell me if you have ever done this. Honestly, have you ever combed the scripture
repeatedly looking for a promise, or even a hint of a promise, of something you
already know doesn’t exist but urgently and fervently search for it
anyway. A part of you just not
understanding why you can’t find it or why so much of scripture even seems to
speak to an entirely different idea? It
occurs to me today that I have been doing that.
Actually, maybe I’ve been doing that for a lot longer than I’d like to
admit. Then today this word comes to
me. Just one. “WAIT” And in my mind I’m
exploring all of what that means. How
many of us like that word?
Seriously. Sometimes I think it
might actually qualify as a cuss word.
But somehow today the word is taking on an entirely different aura for
me. I might actually even be smiling,
feeling a burden and huge weight being lifted.
You see, I feel like I’ve been
“waiting” for a LONG time. But today, I
realize, while yes in the strictest sense I have been waiting, I haven’t really been waiting. No, I’ve been filling up that waiting room
time trying to push the outcome through.
I’ve been trying to find the answer, move the obstacles, begging for an
earlier appointment, or at least a date that I can put my time on the calendar. I’ve even been searching the Father’s written
Word looking for an answer other than what I can see in front of me. Surely somewhere God promises me what I want
in this?
There was a time in my life that I read Psalm 27 on an
almost daily basis. How could I have
missed this last verse so entirely? “Wait
on the Lord, be of good courage and he shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say on the Lord.” (New King James)
You see there comes a time when what you are doing is
nothing but chasing the wind. It makes
you crazy, exhausts you, and makes you useless for even menial daily tasks, let
alone the joyful life God intended for us.
This weekend I found myself giving myself permission to
really enjoy the things I love, to quit trying to create answers with my own harebrained
ideas. Do you know what I realized? Waiting doesn’t mean trying to make things
happen! There is no actual work in
waiting. Yes, I still made breakfast,
lunch, and dinner, did the laundry, cleaned the bathroom, put away toys, and
chased after two wily boys. I don’t mean
waiting cuts out the work in the physical sense, but in the “I have to make
something happen in planning for my future” sense. Waiting is just waiting. Maybe even watching a show or reading book
without that guilty feeling of not having accomplished anything that pushes you
toward that elusive appointment.
Nope, there’s nothing
I have to do to make what's coming happen.
Right now, I’m just supposed to wait.
So tonight, I’m resting in the joy of waiting.
